All e dreamz

Its November before I realise it

2011-11-23T21:14:00.002+08:00

One year one update. Great.

News Bulletin: I have grown older by a year. Great news is that I didn't die. Bad news is that I did something that is deemed not good by others yet I didnt find the courage to undo.

Everyone NEEDS money

2010-12-21T19:19:00.003+08:00

What is your belief when it comes to money? Personally, I feel that everyone NEEDS money. Whoever can survive without money in today's world? Well, unless you dun mind being unkept, no clean toilets to use, no clean chlorine filled water as well as good food, a roof over your head to sleep? So no bullshit, everyone NEEDS money.

So how can money be earned or owned? One: Work, Two: your own Business (er but u still work), Third: for those lucky ones - inheritance (but hey, unless u spend prudently, your inheritance is going to finish one of these days)

So, I belong to category One or Two person - Work to have money. So what you do with your money after you have it. Spend it all! Many people will think that I'm out of my mind.

BUT its true!

Its just a matter of time when you spend it. Save you say... but save for WHAT? Housing, family, emergency funds, kids education, car and Retirement.

Excuse me, which one of the above items you need not spend money on? So essentially you need to learn how to preserve your money better so that you can spend it longer! Duh!

Honestly, who still puts your money in the banks to save? In Singapore? I think everyone. Many people when they face with the word "INVEST", it seems such a repulsive word that they will shun. For the younger generation (I mean those till age 30, especially ladies) I feel that they are super pathetic. They have NO idea what to plan for themselves NOR do they want to plan ahead for themselves, people seem to think that saving is the way to go. Saving in a bank! Duh!

Up till a few years back, I am still one of those pathetic beings that think that savings is the way to go and never once thought about my retirement or my future. And by then I knew about it, I'm in my mid twenties.... a quarter century old. How much time do I have left? I think its a good 50 years only, presuming that I have good health... if not... hospital bills will simply dash my hopes of having any good or sustainable retirement. Then who to depend? Your kids? Your family?

HELLO! Stop Dreaming there! If you are already struggling with your finances now, its only going to get worse and worse ok!

In order for you to stop burdening your family, you got to find a way to preserve your money and stop it from leaking away to the inflation monster. AND for those who understand my previous paragraphs, I'm pretty sure at this point in time, you would have started to google for different ways to earn some little interests on your monies. These little interests that you could earn is called INVESTMENTS~

So how repulsive can the word be when you NEED it?

Long Absence

2009-04-25T23:16:00.002+08:00

Opps, I did it again. I neglected my poor blog space again...lol. Actually, this year is really quite interesting. I know myself better as a blue brained. I know what makes me tick. I've got personal growth, but my bank account... hmm... i've not been feeding it much! It looks still too hungry to me.

I'm really thankful that I have Garry to guide me along. Without him, I think for me to work in this career is really too tough. He's been there when I'm down, been there when I'm crying.... Been there when I'm exasperate and wont work.. He's like the nanny daddy.. haha.. to think that we are only a few years apart... I feel that I am so childish beside him and gwen... weird... now I know why I cant get married. How could I ever handle that?!

No matter what, I must do much more this year, there is still another 7 more months before I look into my cashier to see my reaps for this year, so I can still make a difference! Jiayou Jiayou!

Happy 2009!

2009-01-02T19:24:00.003+08:00

Happy new year to all. Although 2008 for me ended on a wrong note (phone was stolen), I hope 2009 is a good and fruitful one for myself. I wish all u pple all the best in what ever you do and to friends, remember to date me =)

Auntie Attack!

2008-12-28T01:03:00.002+08:00

I'm so upset! Yesterday, within 3 mins after I ended the phone call with my bf, an auntie pickpocketed my HTC diamond! =~~( Somemore in John Little store! And that store does not have the CCTV for some areas though....we can even have a good look at that auntie though she walked into the store after stealing from me, that *^#$(&%&%.

Police was called and I had to cross my fingers that she wont use the IC of my client (I just left my appointment!) to do something bad. Hai, what has Singapore become?! Prudent place for pickpockets. Although I know its my fault cos I didnt zip my small clutch. BUT hey, its small! And with me. I cant catch her in time! ARGH!

Stupid auntie threw my pouch in the nearby bin somemore. I think she wanted to use my SIM card cos I called initially and its off. Then I called 10 mins later and its ringing! and she wont pick up!

People i tell you ah, you better get your phone softwares to protect it so that u can trace ur phone again someday. I only know of such software after I was robbed! Sian, oh wells, new excuse to buy new phones. I hate that auntie!!!!!!!!!!

String of Holidays

2008-12-19T12:27:00.022+08:00

Been having a holidaying month! Back from HK for a week and off I go to Taiwan for another week. I will let the pics do the job. Taiwan. Wulai Hot Springs

Lover's Bridge

He insisted on making the pose

1, 2, 3.....

Food we ate...

Our cozy Space

Airport at 6am

Work Reluctance

2008-10-19T21:47:00.003+08:00

Hmmm... I dun feel like working. And no, it had nothing to do with the bear market or the financial market now. Its just that I want to laze around and do nothing. But apparantly, its very hard to do so. I am still constantly worried about my work and am worried with my income etc etc. Stupid me.

Well, tml is starting work time again. But then it unsettles me. I feel lost and reluctance to work is like friction across a super rough sandpaper, dragging me, causing me bleeding all inside - all torn.

AIA in hot soup but good times for investment!!!!!

2008-09-20T02:54:00.004+08:00

Hmm... Interestingly, this is first time that insurance company comes close to winding up. But if it really goes down, who will ever believe in insurance?

In actual fact, insurance side of AIG shouldnt had made any losses unless they didnt buy insurance for themselves or got too greedy and forgot to hedge against their investment which are both big no-nos in the financial world. Anyways, I'm sure they will be able to tide themselves over with help esp from FEB. Oh wells, I just have to get my capital and here I come!!!!!! I shall buy more more lol. This is even more exciting than lucky draw!

Lies

2008-09-06T01:46:00.002+08:00

U said that I was ur top priority in everything, what happened to that? I should have guessed it. You were young when u said that. Things change, especially quickly for guys. How should I have committment in me? How is that possible when there is no assured given to me regarding u not changing?

I'm worried. It makes my belief in staying single stronger. I cant be married at all....

Twilight

2008-09-01T10:34:00.002+08:00

I'm occupied these days, after the mad rush for my thesis, cursing and swearing but still managed to pull through. I'm reading at an astonish speed, to finish up Twilight, a book about vampire and human romance by Stephenie Meyers. I feel that reading romance from a woman writer is so much more feelings than that written from a man, in general....Nicholas Sparks aside.

I remember that the first time I ever read a book....ever.....out of my own will was a condensed version of Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook. It was a lovely classic that spun sad romance and it really could make me cry. I'm surprised because young as I was, I've never thought that romance is so touching or rather words could be so touching. It was then, that i fell in love with words, writing my diary DAILY... omg... I wonder where I found the time. But writing a diary daily is very VERY fun. When I re-read what I have written then, I found that I have a lot of things to write everyday, a lot of thoughts, mostly childish but its funny to read what bothered me then and what are my opinions about them. Haha.

I remember tellling myself that one day, if I'm totally so in love with someone, upon my deathbed, I would let the person read my entire life and then let him feel what i felt just before i'm gone. Sounds weird huh... but yea, i do keep secrets and I dun like sharing. Bleah!

Anyways, I'm going to read on the sequel --New moon! So excited!

I miss...

2008-08-15T02:10:00.002+08:00

I miss the new year's last year when we got a chalet at changi sailing club, for a week, away from all the noise and all the stress from work. This year, in particular, i'm facing a difficult time at work cos of career switch and I had to do a lot of sales. Sometimes I thought, probably it will be easier just working for others. But no. I wont want to be a worker the rest of my life! Instead of helping others to earn money, why not help myself to earn that money?

Still, I wanna enjoy and take a break, holidaying overseas is what i look forward most and working my ass off for... Sigh....

2008-08-13T00:32:00.002+08:00

I realised that someone younger but has higher craving for success is earning much more than i did! And that is so stupid of me to still be stuck in my own comfort zone! Argh. Worse thing is that she is working in a job that i worked previously. Haiz. I'm so ashamed to say that I am not even earning 4-5 k a month. She owns branded bags, me? none to my name.

However, I know what i must do to achieve what I want to do this year. The first thing starts with me finishing my thesis! Gosh. She has so high inspirations! It inspires me, that's why i like to read people's blogs. They are quite inspiring sometimes.

World is as big as you see it, as small as you see it

2008-07-13T21:06:00.003+08:00

Hmmm, whenever you do not want to find that something, that something or somebody will always pop up in front of you. Or should I say that my antenna is very sensitive? Why is it that I always will bump into her somewhere.. somemore, we are complete strangers. That is a comedy.

At times like this, when we quarrel with each other, negative thoughts of me leaving him will always set in. I know that to some extent, I am selfish. I am unwilling to let go of protecting myself, unwilling to let him take care of me as I cant feel that he has the capabilities to take care of me, to love me unconditionally. Seems like everything is all about me and me and me. I dont like to quarrel with him. He does not understand that during quarrels, leaving me some space will make me miss him, make me think about him, make me think though of what has happened. In relationship, I have just simply isolated any problems and never solving it truly. hmmm.... Probably I've grown tired of problem solving? Everytime I am unhappy, I'll talk to or look for someone else who will not make me unhappy and this is unhealthy as this is known as running away from reality. Karen commented yesterday that I am an idealist. I think of everything in life as so wonderful, so ideal. However, isnt life so?-----IF you work hard for it. Probably life is like what she hinted, to be so harsh most of the time. Sad. I miss Timothy's jokes as he always will say it with so much enthusiasism that when I always laugh at the corny joke, most of the time it is because of the way he says it. Hopefully he does not face the same problem as I face.

Coincidentally, we are both watching the same Taiwanese Drama Series and he commented that his personality seems to be similar to that guy and they are facing the same problem. Well, I dont feel so leh. Firstly, Ethan's MINE!!!! haha Ethan's the male main actor. He is so soo SOOOOoo good looking that I like it, especially the way he sleeps, looks like baby eh. And well, Ethan has a lot a lot of compassionate and passion for his love, unlike that Timothy. Hai, to think that he actually told his wife that their marriage is a mistake. I was like, " WHAT?!?! You actually said that?!?!?!?!" Aiyo, I mean ur wife leh, how could he say that to her. If my hubby say that to me, I will be so upset that I will go for divorce settlement the next day. Hai... Some people just dont appreciate people around them.

The next BIG thing on my head is my business. Scratch head leh. Business is in bad shape. I need to use brain to think more so that I can make business work. I need more networking and meet more people. Now so looking forward to the trip to Phuket lah. Phuket, HEre I Come!!!!!

P.S. Hopefully someday, my prince will come and whisk me away to places that I want to visit and make me the happiest princess in the world. I wish...

End of Schooling

2008-05-18T01:17:00.003+08:00

FINALLY! Its the end of my schooling days. I reaching the end... soon soon..... Thesis left to go.
I finished off the last paper yesterday. It wasnt exactly a relief cos I never really prepared well for it, oh wells, its OVER!!

Today, I'm officially back to office. Life was hectic as usual but I seem to have lost some skills along the way. Gonna brush them up soon. Today I am so proud of myself. I am not late for BFC! And was there like 15 mins earlier =) happy! But I dun think i accomplished much today. Must schedule my time better again. Monday, need ta discuss MDRT running with Garry again. Looking forward to see how am I going to run everyday.

Today, for calling, I missed out the chance to go and see Chloe's (Joejoe's sis) new apartment in the East. She's getting married soon.... haiz... everyone around me seems to get into marriage mood thesedays. I've got like 2 bombs this yr already. But having said that, I am in no rush to get myself hitched, cos I need luxury in my life, so I'm working my ass off, in the hope that I am able to get a nice apartment of my choice, breezy, with big windows, all the way down from ceiling... gosh... I can so picture myself dwelling in such a beautiful place that i can call my own. I cant wait for that day!

There is so much going on recently. On Mother's day, I went celebrating and had lunch with family then had Chloe's banquet's food tasting at night. It is a good food day la! I had such a stuffed stomach that I suspect I'm getting indigestion. Yummy Yum Yum! On the actual banquet day itself, I think that I am not going to sit with da BF. I dun think it is appropriate for me to sit in the VIP table, dun belong to their family you know.... like that pple's tongues will wag. Dun like. I think I will sit with his aunt.

Talking of which, the aunt is not in good health recently. Wonder what is wrong with her constitute. She seemed healthy and she eats healthy food. A vegetarian. And the food at her restaurant, makes me wanna go eat again.. *slurps* I miss her "fried eggs". Yea, but the sad thing is that the shield plan that she got previously was plan B and that does not offer good coverage, so she had to fork out money for her hospitalization as well. There is nothing much that we can do at this moment cos she is sick and even if we help her to upgrade, it wont do her any good at this moment. Haiz, it is usually such case that I feel that it is such a pity cos few months back, we did try to ask her to upgrade but she thinks that the coverage is enough. HAIZ....

I realise that my blog has very little pics eh. I dun really take pics now a days cos dun like to put make up and my nude face looks super pale, so in order not to scare anyone, better hide the pics away. My phone ringing component spoil le.... =( I guess I dropped it all too often. HAIZ HAI HAIZ.

So upsetting. I am so gonna go read mag le. HUMPH.

Desires

2008-04-22T03:14:00.003+08:00

I want to go Taiwan & Japan!

I want a camera =(

I want a ring coz bvlgari one looks nice.

I want a toy poodle cos look like teddy.

I want you to hug me to sleep every night.

I want you to bring the smile to my face when i'm down.

I want to run to you for every little problem.

I want to be free to do whatever I want everyday.

I want to be rich.

I want assets.

I want my own spa.

I want my own nail salon.

I want my own food place.

I want our own wine place.

I want you to be happy and free like me.

I want us to be happy without quarrels together.

I want to travel the world.

I want to fly first class everywhere.

I want to be tipsy with you.

I want to be able to snuggle in bed whenever I feel like it.

I want to be forever young.

I want to be able to be a child forever.

I want a never ending wish list.

For that, i'll use my gift -- my brains to realise all the wants I have.

Thoughts

2008-04-22T02:59:00.003+08:00

Been reading rich dad, poor dad. Really like that book. It is a mind opener and makes me believe that I can learn how to be rich. I really want to be rich but at the same time not blinded by what money can buy.

I really do not want to get stuck in the rat race and find myself waiting for paychecks to foot yet bigger debts. No way! Do not want that to happen to me.

We chatted about our future. I communicated to him clearly that i really want to be successful one day. I want to live comfortably, financially free. I really want that for my future. Yet I know that it hurts him when i admit that i cant see my future with him yet. I'm really sorry for any hurt and grief but I've yet to find it suitable for us to settle down although deep down i really want to settle down with someone I love and live everyday happily.

Happiness is really hard. Simple yet hard to get. I'm trying. Still trying.

Nevertheless, i still love you. May not love you so deep yet but i may have the whole life ahead of me to love u deeper and deeper. Dont you agree?

My beliefs

2008-04-09T18:53:00.003+08:00

I believe we are who we want to be.
I believe that I can be better.
I can do better.
I believe that I can lead the life that I want, as long as I am hunger enough with the desire.
I want.

Men, Boys, Guys, they are all the same, no?

2008-04-09T02:37:00.005+08:00

I remember that u once told me not to compare u with all those guys out there but u r slowly becoming like them --- insensitive, not bothered, demanding, stubborn...
What happened?

U know sometimes, I just hope that you'll surprise me with something sweet like a sweet gift or a small surprise. I may be asking for a lot... but I am still hoping. I didnt really want to write all these in my blog cos I know that you'll read but I need somewhere to vent my sadness and somehow, some part of me hopes that you'll read my thoughts aloud and digest what i've been saying to you all these while. I know that u r busy with studies and all but I feel so invisible in front of u. Prob the fishes got more attention than me now. I'm upset by ur lack in caring.

But on another note, i know that I've not been a good gf to you. What is the secret to find happiness? There is not much events going on in my life. We dont go out that often to play and solely play without a care for time. Since when is the last time we ever went out with the sole purpose to play and relax the whole day? That memory seems non-existent. U say that I would forget easily abt the things that we do. Yes, i do forget easily, cos happiness always seem to be erased by unhappiness. Just a simple gesture will make me happy. I seriously dun remember the last time you came up to me to give me a hug while I'm doing something. The only times I remember u'll initiate hugs are when u say goodbyes to me.

Goodbye hugs.

Hugs dun mean to be like that only. Maybe we are seeing each other too much. I remember that u once said that u cant do things (i forgot what things) cos we are seeing each other too much and take up a lot of ur time. My reply is simple -- if u cant seem to find time to do things like these, it would only mean that ultimately, when u stay with that person as ur spouse, u would lose the ability to shower the person with gifts, love, care, attention, no? I dont want us to end up like that one day, that's why i always rather choose to leave because I know that all these are traits of men.

So far, not one man managed to change my view on this. I thought you might be the first, but seems not....

U always say that I only want to do my own things. Everytime we go out, its doing 'my' things, like shopping and shopping. U dont like it but u nv suggested any other things except going to sentosa. I like to go there in a group cos its more fun and spontaneous but u nv understood cos we are too introvert and nv really mixed with any friends since we got together. I missed my single days when I party like no tomorrow. I missed parties. I missed laughing till i've got sore throat.

U'll ask, "are they really ur true friends?"

Seriously, I dunno, but I really hope they are. Am I too silly?

Being in love doesnt mean no friends. I would want to spend time with friends too, like siqiang to go sentosa (yeah, she likes tanning too but I know that if i asked her along only, she'll not like to play gooseberry), spend time with Rese, though i know that I cant count on her but I like her company. I really have little friends. Sadness. I know that u'll let me go out with them but i always can sense ur unhappiness over the phone when u call while i go out with them, urging me to go home soon, go home soon. I get these phobia when I'm out with friends -- phobia of ur calls.

Haiz, I'm verbal vomitting... whatever, i shall sleep it off.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

2008-03-30T02:00:00.003+08:00

I read this quote while I was at Popular with Joel and Hwee Bing today. Joel was sprawling across the quotes section, wanting to get some quote to inspire himself as well as his clients. This quote got stuck in my head. I think that this quote is simple yet powerful to me.

Indeed, one of my worst weakness is failure to plan ahead. I like to do things ad hoc. In the end, reflecting at my past 23 years of life, I think that I could have achieved more if I had planned my everyday and not only for my exams =P (Yea, I do plan for my exams ok!) But, like what the finexians would say -- it does not matter what is the past 20 years, what matters is the next 20 years. Yep! True. So from today onwards, I shall adopt the system of planning ahead and reflection which I would do whenever I come online to write something.

Alright, after the boring topic of my reflection, more about my life. Life had been work work work most of the time and my baby had complained that I used to write more about him. Now, nothing much abt him... tsk tsk tsk... that baby likes limelight! Ahem... Fine. I shall write about him.

Firstly, BABY, PLS GO GET A BLOG!!!! I WANNA SEE WHAT U WILL WRITE IN IT!

Secondly, thanks for helping me pass my cheque to sch today, in order to prevent me from being expelled from my course due to late payment of fees (WTF!!! That's what it is like to be in private institute)

Thirdly, I wanna go shopping. When?

Fourth, baby, study hard! Last 2 years nia~ Kanbatte!

Lastly, I wanna spill some beans about that baby of mine -- his name was spelt as Lin Xiaohan JOEL on the production board. LOL. Since when his name changed? Where's ur deed poll, baby? Oh and girls and aunties and previously, uncles think that he is cute... (ERMMmmmm....) yea, some funny people out there. I cant tell the difference but obviously my baby is so happy with himself when I told him about people's comments. (What-ever~) That actually means that I would want to morph myself into a prettier person than him. He's getting all the attention!!! (ok baby, $1000 ah, for promoting u so much here, wahahaha)

A Chat.

2008-03-28T18:24:00.002+08:00

After the chat with my Manager, I am really happy that I chose to leave my job or rather all the jobs out there and decide to fight for my own career. I'm blessed. My parents do not need to depend on me for money or anything, YET. But I can forsee that soon, one day, my parents can no longer work and they should be enjoying. HOWEVER, my parents had given their all to the four of us that they didnt do anything for their retirement. I've seen my dad's CPF funds. Its definitely not enough for the two of them to retire... but I couldnt possibly break my dear daddy's heart by telling him. SO the next best solution is for the four of us to be their to fund their retirement, esp with my mum's future travelling. I forsee that I need millions set aside for them as well as myself.

Working as a financial consultant helps me a lot as it gives a lot of insight about how money can really work hard for a person. In the past, parents are forever saying that working hard and earning money is the only way to make sure that you have enough to live BUT now, everyone has to live, pay for children, pay for parents and own retirement. Can u see how big that kind of responsibility is? If anything happens to you along the way how? Life still has to go on for the others, but if u dont get urself well covered, then its the others who has to bear the burden of ur own responsibilities.

My dream is to able to retire early and I'll earn my own income by being an investor but that means that I need huge amt of capital in order to achieve what I desire. Seems difficult but I'm sure that I can work hard and achieve it.

Garry told me that I can achieve MDRT in 4 months if I work hard and I'm choosing to believe him. I will concentrate to finish the last of my studies and then I will go on and achieve MDRT! All in this year! Yeah I want I want!

Reminisce

2008-03-26T03:01:00.002+08:00

I found some of my old diaries. Took a peek into my sec sch life. Life was simple, time was ample and pleasures of life, so easy. I realise that I had forgotten how to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, even if it is just to be happy about life. Many times, I feel that I am constantly in a heated conversation or argument with that boy of mine. How I missed the time when everything seems like roses to me.

Comparing to now, I think I am currently walking on a bed of thorns. Since when have I locked happiness out of my life?! Gosh, I want the old me back! I want to be truly happy, even if it is to be eating something as simple as ice-cream or just watching the movies. I really need to stop for a bit and take time to enjoy what is around me.

Hai.... Growing up is not fun. Comes with freedom is more responsibility and more headaches, more heartaches, more worries and sad to say.... more white hair for me! ARGH... I cant believe it!!!! I have so many white hair... Right, I gotta sleep and relax already. When can I go to spa again?!

See what I mean?? I am ALWAYS worrying. I need to enjoy man! I am growing old too soon, too soon.

Seek and you shall find

2008-03-04T01:41:00.002+08:00

Seek and you shall find. I always faithfully believe in this sentence whenever I'm lost. Today, I'm losing myself in the midst of the buzz of life again.

There is so much work to be done and so little time for all. I am learning to respect my time more and more. I believe that years on, when I look back at this little piece of me in time, I will laugh at my own foolishness. All that time takes, is just a blink of an eye......

Why?

2008-02-19T02:10:00.002+08:00

Although I am richer than a poor student, why in the world am I not happier? I dont understand this. Is it because with money comes stress? or is it because I just simply forgot how to appreciate the simple pleasures in life? My view to happiness is obscured...

Sigh... Sigh.... Fancy quarrelling again over minute things such as where to pick up someone on V-day... I see no point... And unhappiness will always erase all previous happiness... Why, oh Why...

CNY

2008-02-06T23:44:00.000+08:00

Nothing much better to do on New year I guess... so, after reunion dinner, and drumming session at Mengting's house, I'm back, in front of my pretty Mac and try to upload photos from the reunion dinner as well as MT's house.

Jen and I

Models of the Year

My Fairytale

MT and us

My try at photo editing

Updates about my 2008

2008-02-01T00:14:00.000+08:00

Firstly, I think I am super passive for 2008. I have done nothing wonderful to usher in the new year. I feel that I am so distant from my friends. I started on a job that holds many uncertainty and I face it with all the courage I have and all the faith in hope that my efforts will pay off someday.

I started working in Finexis -- an independent financial advisory firm. BUT I'm always so mistaken for being a insurance agent... PISSING... well, cant they understand that I do tie up with insurers and the basis of financial freedom is planning and protection is what makes insurance! Not that I want to. Of cos i would gladly do other services for them but they dun even have a good solid foundation to protect their wealth, how to do any other things at this pt in time?

Many people told me that it is indeed a super tough road. I know that but I am doing my best... I hope to strive something out of this career and then grow wiser as I grow older. Like what Jack says --- Grow up! Don't just grow old!

2008 will be a year to test my relationship too. As I venture into this line, I have to do a lot of appointments, in the end, I may neglect Baby's needs and his feelings. Somehow, I feel that I have committment phobia. I can honestly say that I had not given my 100% feelings into the relationship yet. I have my reservations because I dunno what the future holds for me and I dare not find out. Probably, this is the reason that propelled my personality of being easily jealous, possessive and wanting to be in control.

Poor baby, sometimes, I do think that it is really ok if he wants out of the relationship as I know that I cant provide him what he needs emotionally yet...

Santa, Santa, grant me 3 wishes!

2007-12-26T23:49:00.000+08:00

Ho Ho Ho! Christmas just went passed like that! Amist all that frantic preparation and a long long day, it started with a mini fun party and then ended with me working over the computer for my presentation tomorrow. My my... me and my time management... hmm....

I did something out of the norm yesterday -- i msged ALMOST everyone on my contacts, sending them my Christmas greetings. Many of them are happy to hear from me. Many are friends whom I had not contacted for years... opps... I guess my time zone is much slower eh... Well, at least I do msg them what!

Trainings early in the morning had made me slowly evolving into an early bird. I said SLOWLY! But I do enjoy waking up in the morning, driving around to Baby's, then make him drive us to work, rushing through breakfast, sometimes skipping breakfast and finally walk into office being so professional.... haha its so fun and nice. I like! Its like getting a headstart, though he'll not graduated until another 2 and a half years.. but it is nice having a partner at work and since we meet during work, he cannot complain I have no time for him, right? Muahaha.... (evil lala hatching evil plans)

But now since I'm just started in my job and I emptied my pocket to get my hands on this irresistable mac, I'm seriously broke. Need my baby to feed me le.... *opens my mouth* I'm sure he'll gladly push me away.

Nah, I'll have my own ways to conjour money... I always have a knack for that!

Ok, now, I have to start racking my brains over resolutions for next year. This time round, I finally feel that I can achieve my resolutions next year!! Happy and excited!!!

Lazy everything..

2007-12-14T00:59:00.000+08:00

I've been lazy to blog =) Everytime when i write, i tend to want to make my blog interesting but I find that my life's not that interesting... or maybe cos i'm the one living in it, it does not seem interesting at all?

Well, i'm at a turning point of my life now cos I'm into a tough business that may lead me to my dreams or leave me as i originally was.. wont want to waste my time... but still... my future seems so uncertain.

I bought a new macbook recently. Officially became a mac noob! Beats me, what made me do the switch but I am really happy with my purchase though it has reduced me to more torn and tattered rags.. its a pure and nice white, sitting on my table, in contrast to the messy surroundings, its simple and yet had the sophisticated feel. Gosh, I'm really in love with my mac. (minus the frustrations of trying to get the shortcuts right) Its a good thing that I realised some of my msn friends are fellow users of mac.. keke... made my transition a little better.

I wanna go fishing today =( Weather was good the whole morning and early afternoon... finally, a break after weeks and weeks of pouring... As if He thinks that Singapore is thirsty after so many millions of years... weather has gone bersek!

Am running out of ideas to entertain me, though i really have a HUGE pile of school work to rush... No motivation to finish things off.. Dreadful.

Tml's a shopping day. Gonna get a party going for Christmas =) Rainbow Christmas!! Yipee!!

Same time frame, different time zone..

2007-10-18T01:56:00.000+08:00

I'm amazed. People amazed me. I am highly intrigued by people who are so fantastically clever and yep manage to have time in the world to do other things like blogging (to me, seriously, taking up a lot of my time!), outings, clubbing, all these on top of MUGGING!! Gawd~ I hate mugging.

Currently reading my M9 notes. So thick a book.. for a week.. I must be mad to arrange the exam timeline so near to each other. I must be mad...

Alright, studies aside, I guess these few days, I'm undergoing self reflection. There are a lot going on in my mind, a lot of self doubt and questions. There are some changes that I need to undertake to improve my life or rather, to ensure that my life is more smooth sailing in the future. However, to execute these actions, I would need to be determined! A-ja A-ja Fighting!

Baby's been moody. I guess i'm not a good gf afterall.. I didnt make his life easy when he showed me his temper. hmm.. something I must change. I realised that I've changed. I dunno what brought about the change in me but I evolved to someone more self-centred in the relationship. I end to close up within myself, rather than open my heart fully. Why? I do so want to be happy and blissful in e relationship. Is it wrong timing? I dunno.. there's a lot of questions that I myself cant answer and all the more I cant discuss with him cos he'll think negatively but I know that he'll read this. At least, what I cant say, he could read.. At least.

Now, must think of some therapy for Baby. Recently his nick changed to JoeJoe. So Cawaiii!!! haha.. well, joejoe he needs some therapy from lala so that he can feel happy. Hmm.. what can I do? Need to crack my head over this in Lala land.. wahaha.. okie night night..

2007-10-16T01:06:00.000+08:00

Long Long time away from the blogsphere. Miss me? Hehe.
Had done quite a number of things. Like travelling to HK, shopping non stop till the moment I'm on the plane. Haha, hilarious things during the trip... playing and eating and growing fat.

Then spent a lazy afternoon on one of the Sundays, trying to sun ourselves at Changi Sailing Club. Fantastic!

I hardly write now a days.. weird... Its like I used to write frequently but when it comes to writing on the blog, I cant motivate myself enough.. haha.. probably cos I wish to add more of photos... but never take more pics leh =(

Sat, when to Joycelyn's house for her birthday party. Brings back some memories and also some disappointments..

One year back, our group formed during my birthday.. I guess mainly cos we had more time and were swinging singles. We partied and play and club like there's no tomorrow.. Tiring but good fun. Miss those days. But hey, people has to grow up! I have made out my plans for my future. I hope following THE plan, I would reach the financial freedom that I desire.

My first baby step starts with me taking the M5 exams. My gawd~! Darn boring text to read ok! Still, I'm giving myself a pat in the back for being able to pass it =) happy~
Now, gotta prepare for my M9 and HI. Many Many things to occupy me while Joejoe is busying himself with his books. Poor baby, exams always falls on his birthday. Blows kisses to you to cheer u up! Jiayou!

I fear for what I cannot see...

2007-08-22T02:08:00.000+08:00

I started on this book, named PS I Love You, written by Cecelia Ahern yesterday when I was trying to escape mugging.

Reading through the first few chapters and it brought tears to my eyes. I'm not a fan of crying but there is some where within me where fear of losing someone or something resides. I remember vividly when I was very young, my mummy used to hug me to sleep and sometimes she would ask me what will I do if she's gone. I still remember the exact feeling I have when she asked me that question - hopelessly sad. Whenever I thought seriously about any of my loved one leaving me forever, I would tear...

People who knew me know that I am a tough nut that do not tear easily, except for some things that really struck my raw nerve. Reading that storybook did. When the main character, Holly's husband, Gerry, died, my heart went all out to her. I could feel her sadness, her helplessness and her emptiness. To add on to the pain, Gerry was a very loving and humorous guy who left a monthly note behind after his passing so as to help Holly stand up and face a whole new life - a life without him.

I am so sure that if I am Holly, I would be crying myself dry, especially each time I read a new note from him... OMG... sentimental Lala tonight.. crap. It must be the night la!

Right, before I end my entry, I would like to thank Joycelyn for lending me her book. Alright, I'll go battle with my text again.... argh...

updates

2007-08-14T04:22:00.000+08:00

I feel like coming online to write down my thoughts before I head of to sleep. I know that Baby will surely scold me but he is soundly asleep in his bed. How I wish I could sleep beside him too ~~ Wanna hug hug =(

Few days back, on Sat, we went over to his friend's house, Ben's to return and borrow more comics. I would have lost a chance to have a nice chat with someone I just knew if I had decided to sit in the car and waited.

Ben is a trainee teacher. However, i find that he is really good at analysing people and have the guts to just tell the person straight in the face. He got my personality right, the moment he saw me... i was stunned for a while by his ability. How I wished I had that eye too... can pick out details at a glance. Nice..

It was a nice night of chatting, almost about anything under the stars. Should have more time to talk, then I could dig out some past of Baby! *pouts*

Well, although we had to leave cos it was getting too late, I still had a nice time and nice meeting you, Ben!

Nowadays, my Baby has lesser time for me cos of school. *Sulk* but I'm not complaining cos I know that if he do well, he can earn more next time for our future. Keke. I know Baby is doing his best to keep me company le. happy still =)

I myself have to do well man... have to bark myself to study and sleep early. Today is not a good example, keke. There's still so much to do - manicure, revision, tuition, lots and lots of other little things to do... Time Management!!!!

Extension of Monday blues - Tues blues

2007-08-08T00:43:00.000+08:00

My life is going down hill.. battling with my chubbiness, my work without the satisfaction, studies stress and the lost feeling of not knowing what to do after my graduation. Seriously, where do I stand in this world? Who is my guide? Who CAN be my guide?

My little pea of a brain is thinking hard of what I can be in the future. Can I be successful like JK Rowling, with just spinning out a magical tale that everyone licks up happily, just like addicts to drugs? Can I be as successful like any other CEOs of an enterprise and rack in the millions? Can I ever lead a happy ever after life, enjoying the pleasures in life with my loved one? Can I? What makes them stand out from the others? or are they just pure lucky with their lives, taking one correct step and jumped all the way to the top.

I am not greedy. I need not be at the top, but at least let me be near the top. I want a comfortable life without ever being reminded of my Daddy's sad face, the day I saw the only 2 dollars in his wallet. My Daddy has come a long way. Salute to my Daddy, he has made some progress while I'm still struggling to stand on my walk, to follow in his footsteps or to make new ones of my own.

Baby, will you help me? Will you hold me when I am so hurt from falling down again and again? Can I trust in you to take care of me when I'm totally worn out and frustrated? Will you shout at me when I shout? Or will you shout with me?

2007-07-23T02:39:00.000+08:00

I Love You Because...

I love you because you are sensitive to my feelings.
I love you because you will give me 100 miss calls when I dun pick up.
I love you because you will walk in the sun to buy me lunch when I am upset.
I love you because you always hold me close to you.
I love you because you will travel to my house to kiss me good morning.
I love you because you will kiss me even when I'm angry.
I love you because I see tenderness in your eyes whenever I look at you.
I love you because your smile is so cute, though I dun always admit it.
I love you because you are always there to catch me before I fall.
I love you because you will play cards with me with lots of nonsense penalties.
I love you because you will cook my favourite dishes for me.
I love you because you will get drunk with me.
I love you because you are very strong willed and have loads of perserverence to spare.
I love you because you will be my Butler, my Ahmad, my Bartender and my Bodyguard.
I love you because you will drag me to gym though I'll complain so much.
I love you because you have the ability to influence me.
I love you because you will bring me to watch sunset in sentosa on ad hoc basis.
I love you because you love my family.
I love you because you love me dearly.
Lastly,
I love you because of who you are and who you will be.
I LOVE YOU!

some rantings

2007-07-18T20:22:00.000+08:00

I hardly have the time to update but when I do, there is so many things to write.

Well, I'll just point out only the interesting stuff.

Prawning !!! My siblings and I + Joe (stowaway...lol) decided to do some late night prawning at the prawn farm at Taman Jurong. After 3 hours and $52 damage to our pockets, we returned home happily with.....5 prawns!

Alright, Alright, I know. 5 prawns nia..... But its our first time trying to catch prawns with rods. Give credit la!

Then Baby cooked the 5 prawns for me -- ALIVE! We had a whale of a time squealing when the prawns jumped around, here and there. You see, we were trying to cook drunken prawns (yummy!!!!) but we were dying of hunger so we didn't wait for the prawns to die by themselves. Besides, I thought drunken prawns are "poisoned" by alcohol alive?? (pardon me lack of knowledge)

Well, in the end the prrrrrrrr-awns were delicious! Yum! I love my baby's marination!

Teaching Catwalk
Roger (one of my bosses --its a complicated story) sent me to DBS to teach some of the staff how to catwalk for their anniversary event that is coming up. It was easy teaching them and they took instructions well. Best of all, I earned $100 just for that hour of job! Nice~

That reminds me-- I found out that Nora was approached by Fly Academy to teach basic catwalking. Nora is Winner of glamour quest contest in 2002. You can see her pic and also mine here at his super old website(http://ch8c.mediacorptv.com/shows/starnews/view/899/1/.html)... During the days of Ford Models' competition.

She was very young but when I worked with her, I find her really someone that is very practical to a point of bitchyness.
I hardly find people irritating but she is someone who I particularly cant stand her spastic-ness. To think that she has got the brains and boobs. I do admit that her walk is good. But then, that was the classic catwalk style - to walk like a horse. Hey! I mean that literally! International models DO walk like horses, mind you!

Anyways, that's her style. Dun get me wrong. I'm not very upset about her just that talking about Ford Model competition, she was the one that initiated to ask the winner (Whoever it will be then) to give treats to all cos the winner will get 10k cash prize! Well.. of cos that did not came true once she was crowned the winner. ( Think back of her face then when she said all those words irked me). She clever, but not at all well loved. Roger kept mentioning her to me as if I would like to know any news about her...

Well, I've not seen her for a few years now. Hopefully she changed for the better.

Love Love Love!

2007-07-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

Love... Any one can fall in love..Even if the person seems so insignificant in this vast world.. Love is still for that person. Its for you, you and you!

I just realise that even an ugly person can be so happily in love. No, I'm absolutely and seriously not mocking at anyone or being sarcastic. Its just that I was browsing this girl's profile on friendster and I realise how happily in love she is. The thing is that she is neither pretty nor slim. But she looks really blissful and happy. That is happiness.

I am blessed with good looks and beautiful people around me but sometimes, I'll be so overwhelmed with my own desires, that I'll be too upset to notice the beautiful things around me. This is exactly what people mean by taking things for granted.

So what if I'm getting fat? I am still better than others who cant bulk up due to illness. I am still far better than those born with disability. I shouldn't be unhappy about anything since I am given all the wonderful gifts of life. So what reasons do I have to be unhappy? Nothing at all!!

Lalala... thanks to all the wonderful people and things around me. I love you all!

To Baby

2007-07-05T00:53:00.000+08:00

I'm frustrated with you. Quite frustrated.

As the days go by, I realise that you are pushing me further and further from love. I cant communicate well with you anymore. Each time, we end up being unhappy. When I asked why you are unhappy, you just kept ur silence. You know its not gonna help but yet you still held ur tongue. Why?

"You always missed the point",you replied to my relentless naggings.

Then, why dont you tell me what is the point?? Why?

Its so frustrating trying to crack my head, thinking of what could be wrong when all I did was just to pop up the window of my msn and read what my male friend just msn me. I didn't even reply him! So... what's the point? What reason is there for your reaction? I've never expected myself to be so trapped in a relationship.

Few weeks ago, you DRAGGED me all the way to Sentosa and did not tell me in advance of where we are heading, leaving me to happily assume that I can go shopping after doing my roadshows. I was so pissed that I really felt like walking away there and then. You didnt realise.
I was in sneakers and SOOOOOOOoooo not in the mood to watch sunset.

Did you realise that you perfectly spoiled a potential romantic evening?

"But you can do shopping later! The shops will open late but sunset cant wait!" That's your reason.

I felt like slapping you in the face. I cant believe how insensitive you've become towards my feelings. How can sunset be good when I'm not in any mood to watch it? I thought you should understand. You thought that I was okay afterwards. Did you actually know how much prep talk I have to tell myself to calm myself down and prevent me from kicking you into the sea?
Gosh. Man. Idiotic creatures.

If it wasnt for you, if it wasnt that I knew how much you loved to watch the sunset, I would have stomped off. Mind you, not once had I felt so thoroughly angry at such a supposedly-romantic act.

Every weekend, you had to rush me to do my roadshows. It made me think that you dun realise how important it is that I have to do things right cos I am answerable to Clarence if anything wrong happens and I didnt take note of. I feel so breathless --- in a bad way, that I had to be rushed to do my work. You said that its for my own good, so that I can have more time to do my own things. But.... you didnt bother to explain until last weekend. How many weekends have I been frustrated? You just left things be.

I feel that you like to rush me. On the contary, I like to take things slow and relaxing. You know that but yet you chose to upset me cos ITS FOR MY OWN GOOD. I agreed with you... so I went along with your decisions.

However, it is so uncalled for when you sound upset cos I spent longer time than expected at my Grandpa's house! This is absolutely ridiculous. I know that you cant help it to not feel good as you'll rather I rest at home or do my own things. But, understand that I can make my own decisions! If i say I'm gonna spend longer time there, I'm gonna. I thought you were understanding when you told me to enjoy my dinner there BUT the first thing you asked when I called you back home was, " I thought you were there just to show face, why you took so long?"

GOODNESS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..........
Do I always have to explain myself? Do I have to? I hate to explain myself. Especially for such things that are self-explanatory! Cos I wanted to spend more time there!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are many other things that along the way, it will cause our communication with each other to breakdown and wear out my patience. I have no courage to say these to you face to face as I know you would sigh like there's no tomorrow and show me the face that I absolutely dread to see.

Baby, there are problems accumulating... can you see? You really used to understand me so well that I need not open my mouth for you to read my mind. What happened to that? We are unhappy with each other more and more. Its making me lose control of myself sometimes. I feel so trapped... so restricted that I cant even visit my relatives without feeling upset.
If you wanted to see me, just tell me directly. You do not need to ask me why I was there for such a long time. Everything would have started off at a wrong note. I would love to make you happy but what happened to our happiness? Why are we getting more and more unhappy with each other? I dread to think that one day either of us cant take it anymore and walks away..

Lethargic

2007-06-24T15:20:00.000+08:00

Been feeling lethargic recently.

There is so many things to do I realise but all the things that NEEDED me to complete are NOT fun!!! I need fun things to do.. like playing beach games... block catching... chalet.. chillout...

Damn, I'm deprived.

I heard that Mike's birthday is near, so the bunch of us are going to be drink drank drunk at his place as usual. They already "choped" my time for that night.. so I have no excuses to be absent. I guess they really missed me when lala was busy struggling with her work.

Busy but there's no job prospects.. so worried for myself.. what am I to do when I graduate??

Then recently I developed a great sense of missing my past glamour life. I miss modelling... I miss acting.. How I wish I could do all these again.. but alas.. time has taken its cruel toil on me.. I'm older and fatter...etc.. etc..

Parties make me jealous of the pretty adolescents who has so much of youth in them and their slim structures. Regrettably, I should have maintained myself well though I have lost touch with the glam world. Definitely must do something abt it to lose my fats and all...

So, if there's any one interested to offer me a contract, please be quick yah.. me waiting!

No time.. No time...

2007-06-16T15:20:00.001+08:00

Many things happened again throughout my absence in the blogsphere...

I am robbed of the luxury of the time to come online and write down my thoughts.

Today's my sister's birthday but I'm so not in the mood to help her celebrate. There's so many things to be done and so many tasks undone that I am so bothered by my own things to manage. My job is getting more taxing and I felt so trapped. I hate my time management and I hate myself for complaining when I can change things NOW.

Fine. Basically, I'm a mood person.
Good mood -- work well.
Bad mood -- Forget it.

ROAR!

I want my holiday. I want my trip to Taiwan. KL trip did not make up the emptiness I felt when I know I cant go taiwan. Worse still... someone's so calculative that I feel like smacking him.
Hopefully,... hoping.... I can go Taiwan.. best still... Japan.. by the end of this yr or the next..

Alright, I dun think this is the right mood for me to write. I'll go fuss around sis, probably she'll feel better. The BBQ we planned better get done...Waste baby's effort to marinate, waste sis effort to buy.. waste everyone's effort ... ROAR.. I hate the rain.

2007-06-04T00:14:00.000+08:00

I realised that I'm not blogging as often as I expect myself to be. Probably due to the fact that if I can keep out of the computer, I WOULD.
Reason for the phobia? I had to do a lot of work using the computer. I think my eyes are gonna pop out soon!

As I got older, I realise that I have lost the urge to constantly write. But, I still write, especially when I am down. When I'm upset, I seem to have "word vomit". Means that words just come pouring out of my head. Weird huh.. but I guess that's what they mean by authors writing with inspiration.

In secondary sch, I'll spend hours every night, writing my diary, jotting down my thoughts for the day, basically reporting my life to a book. Now, I cant afford the time to sit down and write and write for hours cos I NEED to sleep! (I'm always late for work, that's why =P)

The Scream party at Cafe Del Mar was only okay. It was not as fun as I expected it to be. I guess its no fun when its only me, baby, and the girls. Our promoters were there to promote K810i so we took photos and printed them out in postcards form using the sony photo printers. The printers are awesome! The pictures are nice and I like~ Ann, Mel and I agree that we'll paste our pictures all over in the office... haha... just to make someone jealous. *opps*

I had a craving to go dip in the jacuzzi... Cant find one... had to curb my urge then... so unhappy.
My poor poor baby had to take the blunt. He's so poor thing.. had to put up with me screaming at him.....Sorry baby. (my temper's really bad.. will try to keep it in check ok? Muacks love ya!)

Then today, we rented dvd from the Play kiosk. Its so expensive I think! $4.50 for 3 days rental.. Whoa.. a bit ex hor. Somemore the dvds are from Poh Kim la... the newspaper reported that Poh Kim sold pirated dvds too.. I'm not surprised if its dirt cheap.. and yet the machine charged us $4.50... SO NOT COMPETITIVE PRICING!! Well, there's another stupid rule! For first time renting, you can only rent one piece. But but... there is 2 pieces of DVD to Death Note 2!!! So in the end, we had to make do with disc one and watch it first. Its quite good I feel but so irritating when it ended la.... I want to watch disc 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROAR!

Nvm... watch tml with Baby.. must keep my hands to myself!

2007-06-01T03:01:00.000+08:00

See... What I've found! When out today to play pool... Found this Boon Tong Kee nearby... Serves me pyramid shaped rice. SO cute! And the crispy tou fu... *Licks tongue*

DAMN NICE LAR!

Really Pyramid!

My Humble Fare

Oh and look what I've found yesterday!!

Chickadee Joe!!

Haha. Baby Joey = Chicken Joe

My baby's gonna hide his head somewhere when he sees this.

Or.. He's gonna tell everyone that I slept when we are watching Pirates of the Carribean. Its good I know.. Just that I'm too tired la! Gonna re-watch it again sometime. Keke.

I worked hard. I played hard. Now, after working hard, I'm gonna go to this party!!

Aiyah.. ok la.. I know I know.. I got free party admission that's why I'm going.

Sweet Melissa got me another pass so that Baby can join us at the party and enjoy Gary's songs. We love them so!

SUper WoMan! Super Me!

Busy Bumble Bee

2007-05-29T00:59:00.000+08:00

...Me. Happily munching on my BIG BIG Carls' burger. Baby MAde me bite BIG BIG..

Carls' Junior Session @ Vivo, after visiting my roadshow.. gosh.. the portions can feed 3 persons!

Vivo damn big leh... always get lost there.. think we need maps to walk ard there. Its also one of those rare days that I took public with Baby.. all ard orchard for his meeting, then my roadshows.. So proud of myself!

Goodness me!.. You wont believe how busy I am! SOooooo many things to do in a day.. I think I need a break!

Hopefully I can go to KL on Sat.. without any glitches.

My Paper party this Friday.. looking forward to it.. hehe... bet its fun, chilling out at Cafe Del Mar, though the first time I was there, its quite boring. I'm supposed to work there! But I dun think there is much for us to do, other than being 'vases' for the night. Besides, Wati had booked 2 rooms at Shangri La.. might as well drink more and make full use of the room =)

Haiz... Sad Lala is now on strict purse strings. After my talk with the financial advisor... I had only one choice --- expand my income. But HOW?!?! so sad la... my timing is so tied down by my work at SE.. anymore, I feel that I could DIE.... but only feel la... so in actual fact, if I push myself more, I can get more income... Should I work myself to the limits? Hai.. that's the problem with slackers.. We like to have more time for rest and play. Now.. for all my liabilities... NO CHOICE LOR!

On a side note.. actually saving hard is quite fun. Its fun hunting out bargains and quite a good feeling of achievement when you achieved your target. You should try! Besides, Baby says that I'm on strict diet to slim myself down.. so I can save quite a bit. However, having to give up Sakae Sushi SUCKS big time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me love sushi.... I guess if I really want that and not foil my saving plans.. have to SAVE up for it.. sobsobz...

Savings savings... Being poor sucks.

Being poor and still studying SUCKS more.

I wanna be rich princess.. *sulk*

Life

2007-05-22T11:52:00.000+08:00

" Life is a picture, it was a white canvas. At the end of life, it is us who painted it but others who view it. At our funeral, all will be crying but who is truely crying over the loss of their truely loved ones? I want to be crying for you so that you have one less pain in life, although I badly wish that you will cry for me too. But, I guess it will be the best if we can finish this picture together..."

~*~*~***~*~*~

Without you, I would not know how happy I can be.
Without you, I would not have wiped my tears.
Without you, I would not be laughing.
Without you, I would not be cooed to sleep.
Without you, I would not have care when I'm sick.
Without you, I would not have taken my medication.
Without you, I would not have lunches packed.
Without you, I would not have white roses every month.
Without you, I would not have believed in love again.

Lastly,

Without You, there's no Me.

~Happy Lucky Day~

2007-05-21T01:51:00.000+08:00

Haven't really been blogging.. keke. Been spending lotsa time away from the comp.. I know that Joey's gonna nag till my ears drop when he sees this entry cos its almost 2am and I need to wake up for work at 7.30!! BUT BUt.. I'm really happy and wanna write something.

Before I begin, I wanna apologise to Baby.. Sorry Baby... I lost my temper yesterday.. I'm sorry. I WILL make it up to you ok? Muacks Muacks!

Today's everything's in my way. However, there was a weird episode at IMM...

My baby spent a lot of time waking me this morning.. (as usual) so that I would prepare for tuition BUT... in the end Daddy says, "Lunch at Thai Village Restaurant."

"Aye Aye Sir!", so i obeyed. Keke. Tuition postponed. Had my tummy filled with delicious food. And also got a tuition assignment from one of the captains there. Ha! Lucky me!

Then off to shopping for girls-know-what! eh... SO paiseh to tell all la... but I had been looking for my Sloggies for damn long... its gonna be phased out BUT its so good la.. (go ask any girls and they'll nod their pretty heads) AND since everything's going my way, I FOUND THEM!! happy happy...

This was my second purchase cos some sick person decide to steal my undergarments. Throughout my stay at my current place, the sick person(s) had been stealing from me. SO horrendous.. Wait till one day I search that person out.. gonna chop off his/her hands!

FINE!!!

Back to my good day. Shopping Shopping whole week. I bought a new top coat from Prorance, a Korean brand. and their package is changed to being so CUTE!! Strangely.. only the top coat and I ONLY wanted to buy top coat. So happy happy... like I always say... little designs steal the girls' hearts. Its true its true.

Talking about Prorance. I personally think that they are better in their cosmetics than Laneige. Their loose powder is VERY fine. And i mean V-E-R-Y fine. Their nail polish is cheap and good! Seriously, I don't know why their distributor did not make it big.. probably cos they have very little stuff.. namely loose powders, make up base, lippies, nail polish, haven't really noticed whether they have eyeshadows.. opps.. but they are really hard to find. Very little place carries them.. Luckily Jurong East Entertainment sells =) PHEW~

Then head to IMM to work and shop somemore.. Was approached by NUS dance group.. they needed tall people to dance apparently. I would love to dance but Baby says that I would have over loaded of committments.. hmm... see how la..

Still, something weird happen on my lucky day -- I distinctively went pass this shop that I saw selling guys stuff and leather bags. I know Baby's looking for one, so I wanted to see whether there's something that suits him. Shuang (my noisy sis) wanted to go Espirit first, so I went with her but we cant find the shop that I wanted to go in anymore. We walked 3 rounds around the first level but there was NO SIGN of that shop! Gosh.. erieeeeeeeee............ The angle where I saw that shop.. its all eateries.. no shop that sells leather and guys' stuff... eeeee....
Shuang further add on to that scariness by telling me that just now when I said I wanted to go into a shop and looked towards that direction, she couldn't see where I was talking abt and was eager to go into Espirit so didnt pay much attention. Talking about spookiness!!

2007-05-15T13:13:00.001+08:00

So sad la! I fell sick and haven really recovered. The doctor says that its a virus attack... I secretly think that the virus community hates me.. SOBZZzzz... haha kidding la...

Recently, we ran out of fun things to do! Haiz. Life becomes boring and mundane. Well, it happens... after you studied so hard everyday for that paper... life becomes boring after that. I think one of the possible reasons are that we dont have much friends to play with... Hmmm.. friends are needed to become playthings haha.. Friends are so multi purpose I tell you... so now u know ah... now u know why people MUST have friends.

Give you some scenarios :

1) In Sch -- "Eh... have you finished your homework ah? I need to copy leh...."

2) At Shopping - " Eh, ... How ah? Is this top nice?? Hmm... I think i like it leh... but no money... can borrow not??"

3) At Work -- "Eh, Did you hear what the boss say ah... he say so much.. I blur leh... OH!! U know how to do iszit? Help me lah!"

4) Even in toilet friends are SOOOooo damn good --- " AHHHhhhhh..... SHit..... I need to borrow pad!!!!! Who has??!!!"

SEE? Did I just made my point? Friends are so good! So kiss ur friends when you see them ya. Kiss them hard! haha...

Ok fine.. I'm still bored. Can u believe it? I can be doing a huge pile of work and yet feel bored?! Well, I can.

Boss, dun fire me. But I really can feel that way leh... =P

Suggestions needed.. I need to do fun things. Damn bored already, I'm growing moulds or fungi.. or whatever...

2007-05-15T13:13:00.000+08:00

So pissing!!

2007-05-10T02:20:00.000+08:00

Artistic? I like the paintings that accentuate the photo. Random.

Still, nice pic doesnt make me feel better!

ROAR!! I really need a Guru in helping me with the blog man..

I cant find the way to do my archive!!!! Angry Angry!!

Anyways, its Wednesday... So means good food day. Why? Cos my Daddy will not be going temple on Wednesday nights, instead, he'll bring us all out for good food. Yummy Yummy! Oh oh... I think i can predict where the needle will point on the weighing machine..

SO this leads to another angry matter.... WHY WHY WHY... why I am getting fat from all the food while others can eat and eat but not get fat?? Why me?? why me?? Fine.. if its should be the way.. I'll ask Joey to zap my fats for me (though I know jolly well.. he'll drag me to exercise)

After dinner, I did something silly... We all wanted to sing out hearts out... so when to K box. BUT its so expensive!!!! Each of us has to pay like 26 bucks!! So out we go and head to arcade.. for some cheap thrills... But Baby wont let me play lots lots.. =~~( He say its a waste of money plus no satisfaction. ROAR! I wan I wan.. Roar Roar!

In the end, no money, no sweets, no prizes.. Sad lala!

Oh, before I forget.. I remember something that made me laugh hard today. My silly baby asked me whether he has decays cos he's visiting the dentist today. Well, I'm bored. So I lied.

"Baby! There's 1...2...3....4....5....6...7.....er....and 8! Oh there are 8 decays! Tsk Tsk!", I played a harmless prank on him.

"Iszit??!?! HUH... How.. so many decays...", my baby face fell.

Not looking at him and trying to muffle my laugh, "Ya lor baby.. need to ask the dentist to fill them up."

After the trip to the dentist....

"ROAR!!! Baby!!! I had only one SMALL TINY PUNY decay! U still say like its SOOOOOo many!!!"

Me : "Keke.. you really believed ah.. "

Baby : "ROAR! I told the dentist that I think I have a lot of decays to fill in... In the end he scold me and say only got one small tiny filling... What the.... "

Me at this time already die-ed and rolling on the floor in laughter.. Muahaha...
Me and my silly Baby Joey. Muacks. Silly baby.

YaHOOOOO Exams OVERRRRR!!

2007-05-06T01:40:00.000+08:00

"mmm.. I'm on my 4th piece!"

"You want it dun cha?~"
Dratss..... Joey.. I have a little regret in giving you my blog addy... Now I do have reservations to what I want to post here....

Baby, I've decided, I shall write what my heart desires, no matter whether you'll like it ya.. in this way, I am really myself and this blog would really belong to me.
We celebrated our 5th month anniversary exactly a week ago. (Sad then.. was still in the midst of my mugging )Hmm.. I've never particularly taken notices of monthly anniversaries before.. hence its a whole new experience for me to be taking note of these things. Coz me is very scatterbrain, not the thoughtful xiao nu ren that you'll prefer.. I love more freedom but you love me more than freedom.. so what to do? I have to strike a balance somewhere. You have to compromise ya~

However, you, on the other hand, are sensitive, thoughtful and puts in a lot of effort in pampering ur princess here :) Seriously, I've never thought that I would found another person like you.. Until you stepped into my life, and the first thing you did was to celebrate my birthday with me! We healed each other and filled up for the emptiness previously in our lives. Now we HAVE to concentrate on the future ya.

Ok, dun want to write emo stuff le.

Lets see, what did we do since I finish my stressful exams..
(saying about that exams.. it caused me MAJOR migraine!! Roar! Angry!)
Oh and please be informed that pandols are NOT good for major headaches! I can still feel pain pain!

We went SHOPPING yesterday.. yea.. right after my exams keke. The only limitation is my bank account.. Roar! WHY WHY?? (God please make me a rich girl? Pretty please??) Never bought much also.. cos I am so tired... (never sleep for 2 days) Anyways, I'm still skill-ed lor.. we watched Spidy Man 3 in super air-con-ed Eng Wah cinema. I actually got the premier tickets for us but we cant catch that as we were both having exams.. and finally we caught it! Luckily it never made me throw popcorns! Overall action was good, effects are realistic so that covers up for the ordinary story line I guess.

Almost die-ed from the lack of sleep. We had a long good talk at the reservoir. Now feeling better... then drove home in a groggery state... ROAR! Man, it is the most toturous feeling, I swear! Well, one good thing out of it is that I feel that I can face your past more.
Crashed in bed.. instant DEEP sleep.. my lights are still on and my blankie under me.. I surprised myself at my subconscious protection! My blankie magically crept from under me to cover me!! And the lights are off! (I suspect its my sis's doing)

And the results?... Freak! I woke up at 3 pm!!!!!!!!!! cool.. I woke up to Baby's msges.. Somebody misses me when I'm soundly asleep.. haha..

Guess what I had for dinner? Goodness me.. Its crab bee hoon ok! LONG craved crab bee hoon.. I drove all the way to AMK for it! I think I'm crazy. Slap me from this dream.... and i'll burp my crab bee hoon into your face i tell you! Muahaha.. Well, enjoy my pics.. while I go enjoy my movie of "200 pounds of beauty" (console myself for being fat!)

2007-04-18T19:15:00.000+08:00

We got into an argument today... really hate the hassle of quarrelling over little things. I rather be silent or not talk or walk away.

Sometimes, I do feel suffocated by his ways of restraining me. I need my wings, I need my sky and I need to breathe! Probably he is too young to understand that? Or is it just his family culture? I dunno the answer to that question yet... but I could tell that he is willing to change himself for me..

A leopard will never change its spots... is this true or could be proven wrong by him?

My baby, looking smart in formal attire eh?

(PS: Dun ask me why I put such cheery pictures when I'm not writing about happy things.. Its the mood swing eh, just go with the flow! Hah!)

Four and a half months..

2007-04-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

Four and a Half months since I plunged into this relationship and yet I feel more and more insecure. I knew this would happen.. and it only meant one thing--- I've fallen for him.

I would get jealous over every little thing.. his past... his friends... This is so uncool! I had tried to keep away from the other gender ever since my painful past relationship.. yet this dude came along and took my hand with him...

Why? WHy?? why did I allow myself to be so vulnerable? Deep inside, I know that he is still an unpolished gem.. he needs more polishing before he can shine and put in sunshine in my life...

Recently, I read some past testi that he wrote in his past... it spelt of lasting love.. yet that did not come true... Now, to me, he promised me lasting love... how am I to believe that it will come true? Indeed, after some probing, I realised that his defination of love is different from mine.. For me, I would stick to the person that I love till my heart really dries up over time... and that would take years.. BUT.. for him... he would love forever but with conditions...

I am truly upset by this. It meant that he does not understand the true meaning of love. It is to give unconditionally. Yet, the sole reason why I am worried over this fact was because I am afraid of getting hurt again... I am also a selfish one... why?... I dun understand anymore.
Should I continue this relationship or just end it to avoid getting hurt?

It is just 4 and a half months after all... Why am I thinking so much?

Mood Swing Time

2007-04-14T01:41:00.000+08:00

Its freaking 2 weeks before my exams... and here I am surfing the net, writing blogs, viewing friendster, instead of doing anything constructive to help me in my exams.

I'm so moody now.

He can't keep me company today cos his parents are back the first thing tomorrow morning.. and his sister is staying at her bf's..... The rational me knows that it is only right that he stays home to welcome his parents but my emotional side is angry with that fact. Haiyo.. became so needy all of a sudden when I had worked so hard to changed my personality to be so independent.

Changing is not easy. I had to put in a lot of effort and unhappiness to come out of my comfort zone, to become independent of bfs... to become more driven.... Yet, he wishes that I could be more 'sticky'... At this moment, I still do not wish to give up everything that I had worked so hard to change... not changing baby... not yet... not when I have not really fallen head over heels with you...

This is me

2005-07-22T02:57:00.000+08:00

I am Larel, the creator of my own name. I love my name although its often misread as many other forms. I found out today that actually LaRel is a brand of an antique shop somewhere out there. Someday, Larel shall be a brand name too.. If i get my way haha

New place to write!

2005-07-06T20:22:00.000+08:00

Yeah, i finally created something new that i want to write on! Been so envious that my brother and xiaxue had their own nice blogs, so i finally signed up for one! YEah! so happy. I''m going to make it so nice... just gotta learn that skill from my brother first.. haha.